Third Time's a Bust: Further Reflections

I should probably more aptly subtitle this blog entry: Why I Shouldn't Blog Between Student Meetings. I got a little distracted while posting yesterday and have spent much of last evening really thinking about if I want to go back to that nutritionist--does she deserve a second chance? I don't want to write off someone in a potentially helpful position because of a few blunders on her part and a slightly caustic attitude on my part. Or perhaps it was the other way around?

But last night, my partner gave me some perspective.

I should eat more fresh vegetables. There are some that are totally fine to eat in their non-organic form as long as we peel them (sweet potatoes, carrots, onions) and others that I should only ever buy organic. And I said, "I don't want to support non-organic growers" and she said, "We're in a compromised position no matter what. We can't also sacrifice our health." Catherine is practical but also one of the most value-driven people I know.

And I realized something. My nutritionist and I are not, value-wise on the same page. And here's why. She kept stressing keeping my snack calories below 100. But she also said, "A piece of bread or an apple--it doesn't matter." And I thought to myself: there is completely different nutrition in both of those choices.

When I began to reflect on the ways in which my own body reacts by pulling in its shoulders and tightening its chest muscles when she talks as if a grain and a fruit are interchangeable, or that I should try "light bread" as if synthetic sugars used to make low-calorie bread will only have a positive affect on my long-term health, I realized that I should have been reacting to my gut (pun-intended) from the beginning.

I can't view food by way of calories consumption. I have to view food by way of what kinds of nutrients I'm getting out of it and what can, perhaps, give me more bang for my buck, or more nutrition for my caloric intake. It matters to me if I eat an apple instead of bread; more than that, it matters that I eat a local apple when possible and whole grain, whole food bread when possible. If I want a less dense grain, I'm not going to eat bread. I might eat a tortilla. Or some brown rice.

By thinking about food as merely calorie counts is the first (and maybe only useful thing) I learned in early institutional treatment. And it's also led me to think more politically about consumption.

I don't think this particular nutritionist is right for me. She also spent ten minutes discussing how people binge because they're hungry. I mentioned that binging was a lot more complicated than that--that people overeat when they're hungry but binging is perhaps something different. And she said, defensively, "We're talking physiologically. We're always talking physiologically." Oopsie. I didn't realize consumption had nothing to do with mental health, economics, and industrialization.

So now it's off to the next chapter: do I find a new nutritionist? Will my insurance cover someone else? Or should I try to keep doing this work with good old fashioned common sense? Suggestions welcome.